“Is it EVER going to stop raining!” grumbled Diamond Duhdashian to herself as she once again grabbed her umbrella from the stand in the hallway of her mews house in Kensington. Opening the door, she winced at the sound of the incessant traffic, but thanked the rain for, at least, keeping the paparazzi off her doorstep for the recent few days. “Lymp’s story has lost its appeal.” She was glad to observe as she gratefully got into her car.
I hope she is burned to a crisp! The thought of her sister lazing aboard a yacht in the Caribbean while she fended off the nosey parkers and dealt with the family business amid torrential downpours and infuriatingly flooded London streets fuelled her usual road rage. “Come on, come on!” she snarled at an elderly lady, hobbling across the street in front of her and then she drove all of five yards before having to brake again at the junction.
Due at the clinic for her operation within less than 10 minutes, Dim’s fingers tapped the steering wheel with impatience. She was habitually late for everything. I am paying through the nose for them to wait, so let them wait! She reassured herself. It never occurred to her that the world would not bend over backwards to serve her. It always had. She glanced at the new window displays in Harrods as she passed and promised herself a full makeover there in the very near future. I will need a whole new wardrobe! She imagined, visualising herself with a 20-inch waist beneath her overblown silicone breasts.
Dr Emil Dontrust and his team had scheduled Diamond’s operation for later that morning and were not at all surprised when she was late arriving. They had scheduled for that too. “Good morning, Ms Duhdashian!” greeted the receptionist, “You may go straight in!”
Dr Dontrust smiled, gestured towards a seat in his office and asked “How are you, Diamond? Have you heard from Olympia yet?” and Dim fumed… People look at me and immediately think about HER! But she made her mouth smile in that inimitable emotionless way she had. “Yes, Doctor, thank you for asking! Lymp is cruising the Caribbean. She will be out of London for the entire winter as usual.”
Diamond Duhdashian rather liked the possibility of attracting a lot of attention over the next few months. With Olympia out of town, she relished the usual flurry of party invitations. “How long will I be out of action after this op?” She asked and Dr Dontrust made his usual vague guestimates, citing one or two examples from his experience.
The Duhdashian portfolio of investments was doing very nicely in spite of the apparent financial crises. The solicitors had assured Dim that she could rely on them during her hospital confinement and Pru Dense, the PR agent, had purred over the potential publicity when Dim reappeared looking like a exaggerated walking hourglass.
Diamond was inwardly very excited but she did not consider it sophisticated to actually show it. She maintained her usual straight-backed haughty demeanour, forever the actress on life’s eternal stage. She intended to out-shine her absent sister this winter and could not wait to find herself adorning the front pages of all the best magazines. The lack of photographs appearing on Lymp’s Instagram account was absolutely delightful. This was going to be Diamond Duhdashian’s opportunity to eclipse her famous socialite sister. Ooh joy!
—0—
Khan and Olympia were avoiding the internet. They had agreed to take a break from the constant ghastly news. There is only so much war, sanctions, political rumour and dreaded poxes that a sane person can stand before they either hit the bottle or throw a fit of rage, and neither of them were up for that. So they informed the yacht’s crew that they were not to be disturbed, even if a Russian submarine surfaced and took aim at the wheelhouse.
They selected an array of personal favourites for the yacht’s sound system, got naked and locked themselves in the master cabin with a selection of fruit and seafood to snack on, if they were peckish. The balcony deck doors were wide open to a cool leeward breeze. The crew discreetly maintained their distance and guessed how things were proceeding from the tracks that drifted across the airways….
Some lyrics were especially evocative - “They say all good boys go to heaven, but bad boys bring heaven to you…..”❤
Chapter 1 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/the-daily-grind-of-lymp-duhdashyan
Chapter 2 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/lymp-duhdashyan-at-the-spa
Chapter 3 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/lymp-duhdashian-kerching
Chapter 4 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/lymp-duhdashian-disappears
Chapter 5 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/lymp-duhdashians-reality-shock
Chapter 6 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/the-olympians
Chapter 7 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/lymp-duhdashians-education
Chapter 8 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/lymp-goes-down-the-rabbit-hole
Chapter 9 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/all-the-world-is-a-mine
Chapter 10 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/the-olympian-population-reduction
Chapter 11 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/awol-in-the-caribbean
Chapter 12 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/frying-big-fish-in-the-caribbean
Chapter 13 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/why-look-at-grey-when-you-can-choose?sd=pf
Chapter 14 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/tempest-in-creole-heaven
Chapter 15 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/khan-kilkennys-brain-itch
Chapter 16 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/coral-reef-therapy
and
Chapter 18 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/route-du-rhum-or-pied-a-terre-maam
Chapter 19 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/throwing-money-to-the-wind
Chapter 20 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/transvestites-opioids-and-champagne
Chapter 21 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/manifesting-dreamscapes
Chapter 22 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/dominica-natures-jewel-island
Chapter 23 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/the-mirage-of-chameleons
Chapter 24 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/annual-butt-kissing-season-approaches
Chapter 25 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/flight-of-the-seaswan-diamonds-delight
Chapter 26 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/global-tyranny-and-armed-piracy
Chapter 27 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/spies-lies-and-guys
Chapter 28 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/grenada-sun-vs-london-snow
Chapter 29 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/clear-sailing
Chapter 30 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/returning-lost-luggage
Chapter 31 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/the-breakthrough
Chapter 32 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/exposing-exploitation
Chapter 33 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/exposing-exploitation-2
Chapter 34 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/duvet-sunday
Chapter 35 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/frank-and-dave-britains-finest
Chapter 36 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/russian-rabbit-holes-atlantic-storms
Chapter 37 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/christmas-coincidence
Chapter 38 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/cosy-christmas
Chapter 39 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/secrets
Chapter 40 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/happy-new-year-from-london
Chapter 41 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/getting-real-about-globalism
Chapter 42 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/how-hard-can-it-be
Chapter 43 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/british-petroleum-and-beef-cobblers
Chapter 44 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/olympias-plan
Chapter 45 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/final-preparations-for-davos
Chapter 46 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/finishing-touches
Chapter 47 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/protests-in-davos-everyone-has-an
Chapter 48 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/strip-poker-plan-b-and-fast-food
Chapter 49 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/olympias-speech-at-wef-davos
Chapter 50 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/the-rendezvous
Chapter 51 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/tying-things-up
THE END
Jane Birkin took me back to my dark brown maxi-coat days. Had those black criss-cross lace up boots too that took ages to get off after a good Saturday night out. I have hardly any photos of my yoof, like most of us, we either did not own cameras and even if we did, pics were reserved for high days and holidays. Lovely how a song can carry you back in time.