FINISHING TOUCHES

Episode 46 in the Lymp Duhdashian series

Frank had met up with the new recruit at MI6 HQ as arranged. His resemblance to Khan was remarkable except for one minor detail. The recruit had an extremely modern, floppy fringed, but shaved back and sides hairstyle. Frank clandestinely took a couple of photos and sent them by protonmail to Olympia with a brief note: “Get Khan to my barber, Jake in Saville Row. Tell him, it’s in a good cause! While he’s there, take him to get suited and booted at Huntsman’s.”

Olympia almost choked, trying not to laugh as she passed her iPhone to Khan. Crestfallen was not an adequate word to describe Khan’s face as he swept his long blonde hair out of his eyes to view the images. “Oh fer fucks sake!” he swore and Olympia consoled him by saying that hair grows back - eventually! She searched for the phone number, called quickly before Khan could object and booked an appointment using Frank’s name as a reference. Jake complained that it was Saturday morning and he was fully booked but, as it was for Frank, he would make an exception - but to be sure to tell Frank that “He owes me one!”

Saville Row in London’s Mayfair is an impossible place to park so Olympia dropped Khan at the barber’s and watched him run across the road with his hair flying in the wind and rain for the last time. She knew that this sacrifice would be very important when they got to Davos but would miss his rugged, unkempt appearance.

When she returned to collect him, only two hours later, she almost didn’t recognise Khan loaded with bags, sheltering under a shop awning. He had been groomed to perfection! “O.M.G!” she gasped as he jumped into the passenger seat. “Did he yank out your nasal hair too?” and Khan scowled at her. “He even tore every hair out of my ears! The man is some sort of sadist, but he told me a lot of interesting stuff about Frank!” and he proceeded to tell Olympia about Frank’s frequent visits for wig fittings. “He is a cross-dresser, Lymp! I do hope that Diamond knows what she is getting into!” and Olympia could hardly drive for laughing.

She recounted Diamond’s hilarious tale of how she had met the delightfully attentive nurse, Fanny. Khan grinned, planning how he would get his revenge on Frank for the awful haircut and formal suit of clothes, the price of which could feed a family for a year. “Fanny, you say? Ooh, I can’t wait to drop that into future convos!” and he sat back grinning wickedly.

Pru Dense was making coffee in the galley of the SeaSpan while Dave was completing his essential checks before departing Poole Harbour. They were almost ready to leave for Saint Malo in France, where they planned to meet up with a few of Dave’s old navy friends. Dave had missed the Old Seadogs Club regular rendezvous for at least a decade, while he had been working in Miami and the Caribbean. He was planning to spend a few days socialising and swapping stories but mainly, he had devised his plan to begin teaching Pru about sailing.

Pru was beyond excited. She had not taken a real holiday from the office since she had started her public relations business. Putting to sea on a sailing ketch was just too much of a temptation. She had been thrilled when Dave had asked her along for the ride. She was looking forward to seeing the ancient walled city of Saint Malo and its famous safe havens from which yachtsmen followed the traditions of pirates and headed out across the Atlantic.

Diamond was alone, glumly staring out at rain soaked Kensington Park. The house was too silent without Frank, so when the phone rang, Diamond jumped out of her skin. Seeing the caller ID was Dribbly Dick elicited a perfectly manicured fingernail rejecting the call. “Ew!” she shuddered and jumped again when the jingle announced a text message. Dimitri Olenski was determined to get the Duhdashian sisters at his porn premiere but they were so elusive. The premiere was tonight and he had not heard a peep from that idiot PR person, Pru Dense.

His message read “Checking that you and Olympia grace our red carpet this evening!” Diamond simply ignored it, returning to the video she was watching from Suspicious Observers.

Dimitri grew angrier by the minute as he dangled a set of house keys from his fat fingers.

He was progressing to Plan B.