Diamond and Olympia are surprisingly psychic between themselves. Not that they ever mentioned it to anyone. It was just there. Always.
While Diamond was writing her Christmas shopping list in London, Olympia was dancing and singing in Grenada. But, in that moment, she suddenly realised that this was her final day in the Caribbean and, therefore, her last opportunity to grab appropriate souvenirs for her family and friends. She stopped dancing and asked one of the girls what would be the most typical Caribbean thing she could buy for her sister in London. The girl thought for a few moments.
“I always think you Brits need more colour in your lives.” she answered shyly, trying not to seem too critical. “Why not buy her a traditional dress and matching headdress? Bangles, beaded necklaces, that sort of thing!” She suggested and Olympia could just see her younger sister’s astonished face when opening such an unusual gift.
“Do you know where I might go to buy something like that?” she asked and the girl grinned. “Of course, I do!”
By the time Olympia got back to the SeaSwan loaded with packages, she was in deep trouble. Dave was pacing up and down on the boardwalk having frightened all the dancing youngsters away with his frown. He couldn’t believe that Olympia had chosen to go missing just as he was about to set sail. Khan had remarked that Lymp’s impetuousness was responsible for a lot of things, not the least of which was their very presence here on this wonderful journey. Dave grunted “Lost luggage! And just as inconvenient!” and he drummed his fingers on his computer keyboard while anxiously watching the screens for the smallest sign of change in the favourable weather pattern.
Olympia, completely oblivious of her lack of consideration, was struggling to get all her purchases down into the cabin below. She piled them into one of the hammocks because, in her absence Dave had filled every cubby hole to the brim with essentials like food and beer. Dave grimly showed her how to lash everything down, including herself should the need arise. He then ran over some basic safety measures before putting out to sea without another moment of delay. He shut himself up in the wheelhouse with his customary frown of concentration, preventing Khan from daring to say a word.
Khan thought a little light music might help to smooth the atmosphere and he was right. He set up a convenient playlist and Dave grinned at last. They were going home…..
Frank and Diamond were struggling to make their way through the crowds in Covent Garden, loaded as they were with multiple designer carrier bags. “Beer break?” pleaded Frank and Dim laughed at his stressed expression. “Sure! Let’s do that!” she said and aimed at one of the many wine bars, but Frank was looking for a good traditional London pub. He preferred to avoid Yahoo Henrys if it was at all possible.
As soon as they were settled close to an open fire with beers in hand, Diamond got her post-it notes out of her purse and began crossing off some items on her list. Frank was trying to remember if he had ever been shopping with a girlfriend before. He concluded that he had avoided this trial assiduously until now. It was unusual and remarkable to him that he preferred to be with Diamond than not.
Oh shit, he thought, dangerous territory! Guys in his profession seldom had any kind of relationship with members of the opposite sex. It just did not work out, what with all the sudden and unpredictable absences plus being completely unable to discuss assignments. Excuses became so hard to dream up and were often transparently fake. Frank was relieved that he would not have to face that hurdle until the second week of January. Things could change a lot before then…..
“Will you want to spend time with your mother over Christmas, Frank?” asked Diamond, broaching the subject because she did not want to assume that he could remain with her twenty-four-seven indefinitely. “Mum’s going to New Zealand!” Frank answered, “She is spending the holidays with my older brother this year…” and he grinned, flicking his eyebrows up at the thought of plenty of coitus non-interruptus. Diamond immediately picked up on the signal and unconsciously licked her lips. That was that settled then.
Her iPhone began vibrating and buzzing in the depths of her Gucci handbag and Dim scrabbled among the detritus to answer it. She listened with a frown of confusion for a moment or two and then realised who was calling her. It was Dribbly Dick. The weirdo porn producer who had ‘accidentally’ strangled her mother during a visit to San Tropez. She engaged speakerphone and laid the phone on the table so Frank could hear the conversation. She was creeped out.
“I know this is unexpected, Diamond, but I would like to invite you and Olympia to accompany me to my latest film premiere, early in January,” and before Dim could utter a word of refusal, he blustered on “Your mother invested heavily in this particular production and I am sure you would want to represent her interests - but I can’t seem to get in touch with Olympia at the moment and that PR woman, Pru Dense, is useless!” Diamond pulled a face at Frank, drew a line with her index finger across her throat, making him stifle a laugh.
“How nice of you to think of us, Dick!” began Diamond smoothly, “Would you send all the details to Pru by email please? Then Lymp and I will be able to pencil it into our schedule if we are free.” She sounded as firm and formal as she could muster. “I am in a meeting right now, Dick. Catch you later!” and she smartly discontinued the call, flicking her fingers in distain at the phone and feigning a shudder. “Odious man!” she spluttered and Frank chuckled. “Not your type, Diamond? Who was that?” and Dim told him the whole sorry tale of the sudden demise of her mother.
What Diamond did not realise was that Frank already knew all the gory details and this communique from Dribbly Dick was just the breakthrough he had been waiting for.
To access all the episodes of this ludicrous fictional tale of social media influencers and their self indulgent life, simply go to the pinned comment on:
Episode 17 -https://francesleader.substack.com/p/diamonds-are-occasionally-dim
ive had my bose soundbar for two weeks now and certain things still impress me, i just discovered i had never heard Enya how its supposed to sound till just now!