CLEAR SAILING!

Episode 29 of the Lymp Duhdashian series

When Dave returned to the SeaSwan he had to fight his way through the small crowd that were dancing on the boardwalk. He was expecting a delivery of the supplies he had ordered within the hour and so he tried to make himself heard above the music but was cognisant that he might be wasting his time. He grumbled his way to the wheelhouse and checked Nullschool weather report online.

“Nows the time!” he yelled at Khan who was happy to escape the impromptu party. “Will you look at that corridor!” and Khan admitted that the weather in the Atlantic could hardly have been more fortunate for a speedy crossing. “Tell Madam that we are weighing anchor the minute our stocks arrive!” and Khan passed the news to Olympia who fully intended to dance until the very last minute. She would miss the joyfulness of the Caribbean, there was no doubt about that. The thought of returning to grey old London town was liable to elicit tears, so she dismissed it and swigged some rum that was being passed around instead.

Khan was watching the cosmic news from Suspicious Observers and hoping to see some signs of the galactic dust under discussion and its impacts over the Atlantic. He had never seen the Northern Lights and there was always the possibility of a comet or meteor shower. Following Ben online made him very hungry for such things.

—0—

Frank dropped the housekeeper off at her father’s home and helped her carry all her worldly goods into the house. He was amused when the old guy offered him a tip for his trouble. Old people have such cute old fashioned ideas, he thought as he laughed and refused it. The elderly man was an awful colour and his lips were worryingly white. Frank was trying to work out how he could fake a vaccine record as he drove back to Kensington blasting his favourite music through the tedious traffic jams.

Thankfully Diamond had been on the phone for most of the time he was gone and had left the light curtain heaped on the floor under the step ladder. Frank set about where he had left off, still vibing to that Pendulum track.

“Pru rang!” said Diamond, when she had finally disconnected from her iPhone, “She says I have the front page of Harpers! AND….. guess what? Some reporter from Rolling Stone wants an interview tomorrow! Something about celeb body enhancement ops!” Her eyes sparkled with the thought of finally surpassing her sister Olympia’s impact on main stream media. “Olympia will be home for Christmas, with any luck and she will see it! Ooh deep joy!” and she suddenly realised that Christmas was only a fortnight away but she had done no shopping whatsoever! “We must go late night plastic bashing in Covent Garden!” she enthused, clapping her hands in delight. If there was one thing Diamond loved, more than anything, it was spending money. Lots of money. She had not been near a shop for weeks and was suffering withdrawals.

Frank groaned inwardly. He absolutely detested shopping, but he smiled at Diamond from the top of the ladder, through the mess of window lights and agreed with certain conditions attached. “You will stop and rest at least once an hour though, right?” but he didn’t think Dim was actually listening. She was rummaging for her post-it pad and pen. “I want to get Olympia something really original this year cos she will be bound to bring back some Caribbean treasure trove at the very least! Then there’s all the goodie bags for my party……” she trailed off into her thoughts while Frank tried to imagine how they were going to throw a party without a housekeeper. He decided to let that one pass for now.

—0—

Tarky was flying on cloud nine. His photos of Diamond Duhdashian had been scooped up by Harpers’ Bazaar and they were asking him about his winter skiing plans. He had mentioned that he regularly attended the WEF bash at Davos in Switzerland. They were very keen for exclusive rights on any glamorous shots he could speed their way during the events. Tarky loved the ‘kerching’ feeling that tingled his greedy spine. Not that he really needed money, it was the prestige of having his photographs showcased in the world’s most famous fashion magazine which gave him the biggest buzz. He imagined all the best models begging him to do them…. in more ways than one.

“This could be my Annie Leibovitz moment!” he mused, gazing at one of her most creative renditions on the cover of an old Vogue lying on his coffee table:

“Ye Gods, she is good!” he thought trying to spot where the photoshopping began and ended. He headed to his laptop and began to update his Instagram account with photos he had taken in the Caribbean. It dawned on him to check Olympia’s account and was stunned to find that nothing had been uploaded there since they had been on the turquoise yacht together. Where the fuck IS she? He wondered. She is going to miss the whole damned winter season again. Pru had been very scanty in Lymp gossip lately. It never dawned on Tarky that Olympia might have found herself an alternative squeeze.