This was a time of great music and will probably never see the likes again as you say tough times but I'd never noticed the tough times as I had lived with them for ever and was too busy having fun, as to twinkly lights, I know LED's are bad for us but I have a 15ft strip light going around my skirting board which is much nicer than lamps and has a warm cuddly feeling about the room, the difference with xmas lights is I get the feeling that we should all be happy Christmas compliers regardless and all of a sudden I'm surrounded by Santa's grottos every where and no one notices any hardship in the world anymore because it's Christmas and this just depresses me but I know this is my problem and need to sort out my perception of everything! to which I'm always updating, Love Sunday down memory lane because I feel I'm there with you (the sign of a great writer I believe) .Thanks again .Respect & X 2 All
Thank you for the compliment on my writing, Dave! As for Christmas, this year I have ordered a 4ft fibre optic tree which constantly changes colour plus 100 snowflake stickers to ornament my windows! Dan says "Oh? And I s'pose it is my job to put them all up?" - he is just as disinterested in Christmas as you and for the exact same reasons. I have also ordered his Christmas present from Ebay and can't wait to see his face when he opens it. It will remind him of happier times, when he was young..... I can't say more, just in case he reads this! 😉
ps
Don't miss Episode 14 published today! It is another shocker!
I'd totally forgot about fag machines, so many memory's and descriptions of an age that I thought just belonged to me, so many flats with shilling meter heating that you straddled and usually got burnt from sitting on top because it was that cold and living in squats with dope smoking pals and sharing what we had, well most of us, I remember being unemployed and living in a bedsit and we got our dole/social (NOT) security Gyro's at Christmas that would be doubled for xmas & Hogmanay and me being the fool I am treated my fellow bedsitters to a few nights of partying and was told they would do the same when their Giro's arrived, of course this never happened and I was left with no cash and had an eye opener of a Christmas, I have never liked Christmas but this cemented it for me at the age of 19 or so and I IGNORE it with a vengeance, as does Death - starvation-Destruction -murder-devastation-tragedy-war etc and will never be distracted to the plight of many at this time of year by shinny lights and bobbles and Haaaappppy Newwwwwwww yearr Burp?!, what a waste of energy, I Try to have the same outlook every day and give the love and Respect to all who deserve it. Love reading these posts as it brings memory's of a life I once had (albeit not the best) . Thanks so much for sharing Frances. Respect & X 2 All
Christmas back then was always a helluva struggle for me too. I don't hold it in much reverence either. I love twinkly lights and always decorate my windows with them because I don't like the long dark nights of winter. I often leave my lights up until March for that reason!
I am happy to have triggered your old memories, even if times were tough, there were times when we were so happy! Like the 11 weeks of sunshine we had and the music of that period.
Such a strong survivor you are Frances. What experiences you've endured. Heartbreaking disappointments. You've really honed your perceptive skills through it all. Thanks for sharing.
I had no choice! I had to get through it all for my son! I worshipped Dan. His little copper head, his constant chatter and his ability to discover the inner workings of all machines was amazing to me. Dan's toys were tools and electronic spare parts which he loved to extract from anything that was broken. His presence in my life ensured that I could never even think of giving up. That was such a blessing, as well as quite a trial because it meant a lot of self sacrifice (which had the added bonus of keeping me very slim!).
I have come away from the experience very sad for Bridget Phetasy and her generation. She is in her early 40s, so almost 30 years younger than I am.
My generation was the first to have reliable control over our fertility from early in our lives and I appreciated that very much, because my mother had 5 back street abortions during the 1950s. Abortion horrified me; I saw it as premeditated murder. I saw how much it harmed my mum's health in the short term, but also her self esteem and mental health in the long term. Meanwhile, my father was going about his business with no psychological cross to bear and was, in fact, unfaithful to my mother, maybe more than once.
Being prescribed 'the pill' helped me and my friends avoid all that. It meant that I could obey my natural instincts without fear, more or less the same as my male friends did. They never treated me as a 'slut', far from it. We were exploring our sexuality together and learning from each other. We were free to be friends, whether we were physically making love or not. And we WERE friends, through thick and thin. Something my mother and grandmothers had not experienced in their lives.
I used to joke with some of the guys I knew that THEY were terrible 'sluts' because they were fathering kids left and right without taking full responsibility for the care of those children. Some of them heeded my opinions and made an effort to, at least, get to know their kids, even if they could not afford to provide for all of them.
Two of my best male friends, Sid and Jai each fathered more than 20 children (that they knew of!).... No woman could have sowed seeds to that extent, could she? It would have been physically impossible and totally exhausting, I imagine.
Nature drives us to procreate, obviously. So it is not an instinct we should try to curtail in my opinion. Celibacy is probably as psychologically damaging as licentiousness and so I see those two mindsets as extreme. Somewhere between the two lies a healthy zone, where we can enjoy our bodies, learn from each other, develop strong relationships and nurture future generations to do the same responsibly.
I found the essay that Bridget Phetasy wrote to be so caught up with religious dogma on the one hand and politicised 'women's liberation' on the other, that I despair for her and her generation!
It seems to me that since the sexual freedom of the 1970s, which was cut short by the AIDS fearmongering of the early 1980s, young people have taken a huge step backwards.
These 'slut-shaming' tendencies should have died along with my mother's repressed generation and NOT be resurrected to torture and castigate any more generations!
Do we see any other breed of mammal hampering themselves with sexual hang ups?
Yeah, AIDS was the rehearsal.... Covid19 was the premiere.... the show may have a very long stage run, with many ovations before it ceases to entertain and profit its producers.
From a pre-death experience (not NDE) I learned that every person, friend, foe, parent, oppressor, liar, lover et al who show up in a life are precious beyond words. THey were all characters in our lived-life play . . . of all the billions of souls on Earth, they were the ones who appeared, and all are blessed, even if low-vibe versions of we 'pieces of God'. Personal alchemy and expansion is to hold them all in love, yet discerning which ones to de-select regular contact with.
I wrote the book a few years ago and then remembered incidents and details that were missing. So this series is a rewrite or edit of the original. I was inspired to republish because many of the star characters have died recently and I wanted to honour their memory. So where it may seem traumatic and cathartic, I have long since come to terms with it all and now celebrate who we all were and the amazing lives we led. As I re-edit each chapter, I remember with great fondness all my friends and even my enemies. They all taught me so much. xx
Elaine used to say that I was tougher than I looked but I always replied "Bundles of choice!" We had to deal with our fate and learn from it..... what alternatives did we have? We were shaped by our experiences and, despite the rivers of tears, I think we gained something very precious - a greater wisdom and understanding which made us the people we are today. It wasn't all pretty roses, sometimes it was raw and painful but it was life and I really value the memories.
Oh, absolutely. We are the sum of our our experiences after all. Like you,
I value it all, it made me who I'm today and, I'm happy with who I am.
It is a blessing that we can not know or have the same awareness when young as it allows us to live/act more instinctively, more true to ourselves even if, could only appreciate it later. I wouldn't want to be anybody else,
I wouldn't want to lose that precious something that made me who I'm.
Springsteen, another musician i can no longer listen to, jabbed up moron
'He would never back down. He was an Aries' ive never paid attention to star signs but it is remarkable how often something i randomly learn about it rings true
You took the words right out of my mouth! Getting harder and harder to enjoy music and movies because since the PLandemic and all of the spineless "stars."
I can’t stomach that piece of sold out crap anymore. I remember when he was a nobody when a local DJ from Philly named Ed Sciaky touted him and helped him grow a huge audience
Nonetheless he’s scum in my book these days
Which kinda hurts because New York City Serenade, Kitty’s Back will always have a special place in my soul.
Good times.... long gone but never forgotten. Do you think that the fat controllers have cruelly compromised the music and film industries and set about robbing us of our folk heroes as another torture weapon? It feels that way to me.
I agree with you Ray.... Loose Springboard has finally collapsed under the weight of his own self esteem. Pissed me right off.... but he is hardly the only one to suck the establishment teat, is he? It does knock a whacking great dent in his tough rebel guy image though. It's all about appeasing record labels and PR execs. What about the fans? Don't we merit some backbone from our musicians?
You will observe far more than simple lack of support as the story unfolds. Roy was ambitious and showed a psychopathic disregard for anyone but himself. To this day I am unable to explain why he was like that.... I dare say he still is....
Episode I - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/frances-leader-is-my-birth-name
Episode 2 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane
Episode 3 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-3
Episode 4 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-4
Episode 5 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-5
Episode 6 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-6
Episode 7 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-7
Episode 8 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-8
Episode 9 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-9
Episode 10 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-10
Episode 11 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-11
Episode 12 - https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-12
Episode 14: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-14
Episode 15: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-15
Episode 16: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-16
Episode 17: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-17
Episode 18: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-18
Episode 19: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-19
Episode 20: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-20
Episode 21: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-21
Episode 22: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-22
Episode 23: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-23
Episode 24: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-24
Episode 25: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-25
Episode 26: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-26
Episode 27: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-27
Episode 28: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-28
Episode 29: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-29
Episode 30: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-30
Episode 31: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-31
Episode 32: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-32
Episode 33: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-33
Episode 34: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-34
Episode 35: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-35
Episode 36: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-36
Episode 37: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-37
Episode 38: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-38
Episode 39: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-39
Episode 40: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-40
Episode 41: https://francesleader.substack.com/p/sunday-in-memory-lane-episode-41
Bleedin' Nora!!!
This was a time of great music and will probably never see the likes again as you say tough times but I'd never noticed the tough times as I had lived with them for ever and was too busy having fun, as to twinkly lights, I know LED's are bad for us but I have a 15ft strip light going around my skirting board which is much nicer than lamps and has a warm cuddly feeling about the room, the difference with xmas lights is I get the feeling that we should all be happy Christmas compliers regardless and all of a sudden I'm surrounded by Santa's grottos every where and no one notices any hardship in the world anymore because it's Christmas and this just depresses me but I know this is my problem and need to sort out my perception of everything! to which I'm always updating, Love Sunday down memory lane because I feel I'm there with you (the sign of a great writer I believe) .Thanks again .Respect & X 2 All
Thank you for the compliment on my writing, Dave! As for Christmas, this year I have ordered a 4ft fibre optic tree which constantly changes colour plus 100 snowflake stickers to ornament my windows! Dan says "Oh? And I s'pose it is my job to put them all up?" - he is just as disinterested in Christmas as you and for the exact same reasons. I have also ordered his Christmas present from Ebay and can't wait to see his face when he opens it. It will remind him of happier times, when he was young..... I can't say more, just in case he reads this! 😉
ps
Don't miss Episode 14 published today! It is another shocker!
I'd totally forgot about fag machines, so many memory's and descriptions of an age that I thought just belonged to me, so many flats with shilling meter heating that you straddled and usually got burnt from sitting on top because it was that cold and living in squats with dope smoking pals and sharing what we had, well most of us, I remember being unemployed and living in a bedsit and we got our dole/social (NOT) security Gyro's at Christmas that would be doubled for xmas & Hogmanay and me being the fool I am treated my fellow bedsitters to a few nights of partying and was told they would do the same when their Giro's arrived, of course this never happened and I was left with no cash and had an eye opener of a Christmas, I have never liked Christmas but this cemented it for me at the age of 19 or so and I IGNORE it with a vengeance, as does Death - starvation-Destruction -murder-devastation-tragedy-war etc and will never be distracted to the plight of many at this time of year by shinny lights and bobbles and Haaaappppy Newwwwwwww yearr Burp?!, what a waste of energy, I Try to have the same outlook every day and give the love and Respect to all who deserve it. Love reading these posts as it brings memory's of a life I once had (albeit not the best) . Thanks so much for sharing Frances. Respect & X 2 All
Christmas back then was always a helluva struggle for me too. I don't hold it in much reverence either. I love twinkly lights and always decorate my windows with them because I don't like the long dark nights of winter. I often leave my lights up until March for that reason!
I am happy to have triggered your old memories, even if times were tough, there were times when we were so happy! Like the 11 weeks of sunshine we had and the music of that period.
Such a strong survivor you are Frances. What experiences you've endured. Heartbreaking disappointments. You've really honed your perceptive skills through it all. Thanks for sharing.
I had no choice! I had to get through it all for my son! I worshipped Dan. His little copper head, his constant chatter and his ability to discover the inner workings of all machines was amazing to me. Dan's toys were tools and electronic spare parts which he loved to extract from anything that was broken. His presence in my life ensured that I could never even think of giving up. That was such a blessing, as well as quite a trial because it meant a lot of self sacrifice (which had the added bonus of keeping me very slim!).
https://youtu.be/5cMU0YoyNaU
In the above video, Bert Weinstein interviewed the young woman who wrote this essay:
https://bridgetphetasy.substack.com/p/slut-regret so I popped over there to read the essay & comments, before I listened to the video conversation.
I have come away from the experience very sad for Bridget Phetasy and her generation. She is in her early 40s, so almost 30 years younger than I am.
My generation was the first to have reliable control over our fertility from early in our lives and I appreciated that very much, because my mother had 5 back street abortions during the 1950s. Abortion horrified me; I saw it as premeditated murder. I saw how much it harmed my mum's health in the short term, but also her self esteem and mental health in the long term. Meanwhile, my father was going about his business with no psychological cross to bear and was, in fact, unfaithful to my mother, maybe more than once.
Being prescribed 'the pill' helped me and my friends avoid all that. It meant that I could obey my natural instincts without fear, more or less the same as my male friends did. They never treated me as a 'slut', far from it. We were exploring our sexuality together and learning from each other. We were free to be friends, whether we were physically making love or not. And we WERE friends, through thick and thin. Something my mother and grandmothers had not experienced in their lives.
I used to joke with some of the guys I knew that THEY were terrible 'sluts' because they were fathering kids left and right without taking full responsibility for the care of those children. Some of them heeded my opinions and made an effort to, at least, get to know their kids, even if they could not afford to provide for all of them.
Two of my best male friends, Sid and Jai each fathered more than 20 children (that they knew of!).... No woman could have sowed seeds to that extent, could she? It would have been physically impossible and totally exhausting, I imagine.
Nature drives us to procreate, obviously. So it is not an instinct we should try to curtail in my opinion. Celibacy is probably as psychologically damaging as licentiousness and so I see those two mindsets as extreme. Somewhere between the two lies a healthy zone, where we can enjoy our bodies, learn from each other, develop strong relationships and nurture future generations to do the same responsibly.
I found the essay that Bridget Phetasy wrote to be so caught up with religious dogma on the one hand and politicised 'women's liberation' on the other, that I despair for her and her generation!
It seems to me that since the sexual freedom of the 1970s, which was cut short by the AIDS fearmongering of the early 1980s, young people have taken a huge step backwards.
These 'slut-shaming' tendencies should have died along with my mother's repressed generation and NOT be resurrected to torture and castigate any more generations!
Do we see any other breed of mammal hampering themselves with sexual hang ups?
So why do we DO this to ourselves?
It is bloody weird if you ask me!
Yeah, AIDS was the rehearsal.... Covid19 was the premiere.... the show may have a very long stage run, with many ovations before it ceases to entertain and profit its producers.
Will there even be an audience for the finale?
Talk about a cliffhanger, Frances! I'm afraid to see what's coming next. It must be cathartic letting this all out. xo
From a pre-death experience (not NDE) I learned that every person, friend, foe, parent, oppressor, liar, lover et al who show up in a life are precious beyond words. THey were all characters in our lived-life play . . . of all the billions of souls on Earth, they were the ones who appeared, and all are blessed, even if low-vibe versions of we 'pieces of God'. Personal alchemy and expansion is to hold them all in love, yet discerning which ones to de-select regular contact with.
Yep. That is how I think about everyone too. All interactions are precious even the difficult ones.
BTW, love your story and your writing . . . :)
I wrote the book a few years ago and then remembered incidents and details that were missing. So this series is a rewrite or edit of the original. I was inspired to republish because many of the star characters have died recently and I wanted to honour their memory. So where it may seem traumatic and cathartic, I have long since come to terms with it all and now celebrate who we all were and the amazing lives we led. As I re-edit each chapter, I remember with great fondness all my friends and even my enemies. They all taught me so much. xx
You've done the work, Frances, as is evidenced by your attitude towards those who caused you pain. What a journey life is. xo
jeez how much worse can it get! x
There is so much more.... brace yourself! xx
will do xxx
Thank you Frances, the cliffhanger mistress... The shit you went through....
Mine wasn't as bad I guess still, looking back at it now, I'm thinking if only I knew
then what tough stuff I've been made of... But, hey, I'm still here...
Elaine used to say that I was tougher than I looked but I always replied "Bundles of choice!" We had to deal with our fate and learn from it..... what alternatives did we have? We were shaped by our experiences and, despite the rivers of tears, I think we gained something very precious - a greater wisdom and understanding which made us the people we are today. It wasn't all pretty roses, sometimes it was raw and painful but it was life and I really value the memories.
Oh, absolutely. We are the sum of our our experiences after all. Like you,
I value it all, it made me who I'm today and, I'm happy with who I am.
It is a blessing that we can not know or have the same awareness when young as it allows us to live/act more instinctively, more true to ourselves even if, could only appreciate it later. I wouldn't want to be anybody else,
I wouldn't want to lose that precious something that made me who I'm.
The journey continues... Thank you Frances ❤️
Springsteen, another musician i can no longer listen to, jabbed up moron
'He would never back down. He was an Aries' ive never paid attention to star signs but it is remarkable how often something i randomly learn about it rings true
You took the words right out of my mouth! Getting harder and harder to enjoy music and movies because since the PLandemic and all of the spineless "stars."
I agree wholeheartedly Ray/Frances.
I can’t stomach that piece of sold out crap anymore. I remember when he was a nobody when a local DJ from Philly named Ed Sciaky touted him and helped him grow a huge audience
Nonetheless he’s scum in my book these days
Which kinda hurts because New York City Serenade, Kitty’s Back will always have a special place in my soul.
Good times.... long gone but never forgotten. Do you think that the fat controllers have cruelly compromised the music and film industries and set about robbing us of our folk heroes as another torture weapon? It feels that way to me.
I agree with you Ray.... Loose Springboard has finally collapsed under the weight of his own self esteem. Pissed me right off.... but he is hardly the only one to suck the establishment teat, is he? It does knock a whacking great dent in his tough rebel guy image though. It's all about appeasing record labels and PR execs. What about the fans? Don't we merit some backbone from our musicians?
exactly, rebel my arse
oh what you endured dear Frances…feeling a little guilty that my life has been a cakewalk … so far 🙀
Maybe you are not as daft as me, Kitten! If you think about it, I brought it all on myself. I made my bed and I laid on it..... proverbially speaking.
awe, love you Frances just the way you are💕
You will observe far more than simple lack of support as the story unfolds. Roy was ambitious and showed a psychopathic disregard for anyone but himself. To this day I am unable to explain why he was like that.... I dare say he still is....