LYMP, DIM & PRU FACE THE FUTURE

Episode 1 of Book 2 in the Duhdashian series. An unusual comedy including multi-media, current affairs & hidden agendas with an entertaining cast of lovable characters in gorgeous locations.

Frank’s mum was not coming back to Blighty. She had phoned to tell him and it hit him like a stone to the temple. Now that she had retired from her important role at MI6, there was nothing to hold her in grey and toxic London. She was investing in Frank’s brother’s New Zealand farm and she was going to partake of the ‘Good Life’ just as she had always dreamed of doing.

How could anyone blame her? Frank let the iPhone slip from his fingers and went out to his shed. He skinned up a fat one and smoked it in the unusually warm garden of the Dorset home he had always treasured. It was Sunday 5th of March 2023 and all Frank’s friends were inside, sleeping off a howler of a party.

Diamond woke with the strong eastern light blinding her. She had neglected to close the curtains the previous night. Oh my god, I must have been completely out of it, she thought as she staggered to the bathroom wondering where Frank had gone.

I bet he is in his shed, she muttered as she splashed her face with cold water. She quickly pulled on her favourite oversized sweater and moccasins. She tottered down the steep cottage stairs and opened the back door. There was Frank, sitting legs akimbo, in a cloud of smoke on the bench outside his shed. Diamond gave him a little kiss on his head, took the joint, smoked a couple of puffs and gave it back to him. Frank didn’t move.
“Wozzup?” she cooed at his frowning forehead.

Frank pulled a resigned expression and glumly stated, “I am an orphan! My mum phoned. She is staying in New Zealand!” Dim quickly turned her head away and stifled a giggle. “Frank!” she said, “You are thirty five years old! I don’t think you quite qualify as an orphan!” but Frank was theatrical at the best of times and determined to play the part of the lost chick, the lonely bambi, the ragged neglected Oliver in his favourite Dickens novel.

“Will you marry me, Diamond?” he suddenly blurted, closely watching as Diamond’s face went through five or six potential expressions without settling on a single one.
She flung herself at him and kissed him until he could not breathe. “Is that a yes?” he spluttered, trying not to burn her with the stub of the joint, still burning in his hand, as he fended her off.

As was always the synchronicity for the Duhdashian sisters, Olympia was also woken by the sunshine pouring through the cottage windows, and she was rummaging about in her suitcase for something cosy to wear. She was stark naked and Khan, just disturbed and propped up on his elbow, was admiring her rear view. “Man, you have some muscle tone on that ass of yours!” he commented and she haughtily tilted her chin at him.

“I do not have an ass!” She complained, “I have a very British arse, I will have you know!” and Khan imitated her pronunciation, “Ahhhh-rrrr-sss” several times before the pillow whacked him across his face and a squealing, grunting, thumping pillow fight woke Pru and Dave in the next room.

“No murders in the mornings, please!” shouted Dave, “Save it for later!” as he staggered to the bathroom wondering what had hit him on the head. He finally remembered the rum. Ah. Me hearties, he thought. The old seadog forgave himself for breaking his sobriety once again. He was especially happy this morning because during the previous evening, while everyone was dancing in the lounge, he had dragged Pru out to the patio and proposed. She had accepted his ring without a moment of hesitation. The joy on Pru’s face, by moonlight in the garden, was an image that would be locked in his memory forever.

Khan and Olympia heard Frank and Diamond beginning to prepare breakfast downstairs. “Excellent, I am famished!” declared Lymp as she dived into the en suite shower closely followed by Khan. They fought over the liquid soap and the sponge until they were clean and respectable…. ish. Rinsing and snogging simply have to be done at the same time, don’t you find? Khan slipped slightly and ended up on one knee in the shower cubicle. He took his moment.

“Will you marry me, Olympia?” he asked, his hands clasped in a prayer. Olympia froze with water streaming down her face.
“Are you mad?” she cried out, “You don’t want to marry me! I am a bitch! You know I am!” and she burst into tears which was not quite the reaction that Khan was expecting.

—0—

Two hours later the astonishing coincidence of these events had resulted in an unusual agreement. They would have to do a triple wedding ceremony, somewhere. They simply had to decide where, exactly.

Dave went over to the laptop on Frank’s desk and selected some music. He knew exactly where he wanted to get married and he was about to say so via a song:

Khan and Olympia grinned at each other. Pru looked enchanted as she watched the video and Frank grabbed Diamond, calypso twirling her around the chairs as if reggae was the dance that his soul had always craved.

The decision was easy. Antigua. It had to be, sweet Antigua.