I DO NOT HAVE A TELL-LIE-VISION

Apparently I am in a minority group in the UK - only 3% of us do not own a TV! So they say..... hmm!

I absolutely cracked up the other day. A writer I was reading talked about an anecdotal conversation he had with a friend. He said that when the friend realised he did not have a television the friend thought a bit and then asked:
”WHAT DO YOU POINT YOUR FURNITURE AT?”

Yesterday an electrical engineer came to give my property a 5-year safety check. He was a very fit tattooed guy in his late 50s, very friendly and super efficient. He went from room to room unplugging absolutely everything before he set about his test routine. While he was doing his thing, I was sitting in my lounge, reading an awful book about the Jesuits and complaining to my son that I was getting pissed off with the writer for apparently supporting the idea that the Jesuits should not interfere or participate in politics! I was aghast. I mean, interfering in EVERYTHING has been the business of the Jesuits since Loyola, the frustrated soldier, busted his leg in 1538! They are famous for their historical geo-political meddling! They have been booted out of loads of countries and even disbanded in 1773 by one brave Pope for doing just that!
What would they do if they were ordered to desist?
Knit socks for orphans? Take up macramé?

My son burst out laughing at my rant, went to his room and brought me an alternative dog-eared and very fat book to read. Much better, by the way. It is about a lost bejewelled chess set, apparently once owned by Charlemagne. A bit like Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code in style but not quite so famous.

But all that is besides the point…….. what was I on about? Oh yeah.

My lovely electrical engineer suddenly realised that he had not seen a tell-lie-vision in the entire flat. He spotted the router and mad array of computers, both active and in pieces, in my son’s man cave. My battered old laptop was in there at the time being disembowelled for misbehaviour.

Sparky stood in the middle of the lounge and swivelled 360 degrees on the spot.
He looked totally confused until he unplugged my electric chair (no silly, not an execution chair, a vibrating, leg raising, puffy black leather luxury all-bells-and-whistles armchair!)……
THAT is when he realised that the TV aerial socket which was behind me was unused.

“Oh!” he gasped. “No telly?”
I laughed and said “Good grief - No!”

So I was delighted today, to receive (via GETTR from my friend, Dave) a link to this very entertaining short video which mentions the one-eyed goggle monster with some distain. It is old, but it is gold.
Enjoy!

Bless Harlan Ellison! A man after my own heart. It is a shame I could not have played the video for Sparky, the electrical engineer, but the electricity supply was switched off while he was here….. those are the breaks, huh?